AZ Drabbles Of a Mean Monkey and Freaky Pharaoh
by YuMiKo Productions
Summary: Alphabetical drabbles featuring Shinji and Hiyori's relationship. May include slight violence, swearing if you know Japanese... , and a suggestive theme or two. Please read and review, but be nice; one of our first stories.


This is a story for the most abused Vizard and the abusing Vizard; AKA, Shinji Hirako and Hiyori Sarugaki. May they one day get along…Without any abuse, extensive sandal throwing, or clichéd "You're my first love" declarations.

Warning: May include slight violence, swearing (IF you know some Japanese...), and maybe a suggestive theme or two.

Disclaimer: We don't own Bleach.

A-Z Drabbles Of a Mean Monkey and Freaky Pharaoh

Angry

"Damn it, Shinji! You know that moose-smile makes me angry!" Exactly 0.5 seconds later, he was kicked through the warehouse's windows.

Bruised

Before making the dessert, a fruit salad, Mashiro observed the apples Hiyori had brought in from shopping that day. Her lips went into a pout as she waved her arms around, unknowingly inviting Kensei into the kitchen. "Oi, Mashiro! What's with the whining festival? Some of us are getting impatient…" "I knoooooow! But all the apples Hiyori gave me are bruuuuuuiiiiiiised!" Kensei lifted up the limp, out-cold body of their leader, Shinji. "Guess that's not the only thing she bruised…"

Clean

It always amazed Shinji that when Hiyori used her shikai, after being provoked by the enemy, how her zanpaku-to chopped clean through them.

Dark.

After they had been exiled from the Soul Society, they all spent the night in Kisuke's newly-built shop. Most of them had already fallen asleep, but Hiyori was still awake. Though she would never admit it, she was afraid of the dark. But in a matter of seconds, she was sound asleep, her fear of the dark brought to light and extinguished by Shinji's arms and words. "Didn't Kirio ever tell you not to be afraid of the dark…?"

Eyes

Looking back, Shinji realized it was a bad idea to "compliment" Hiyori's eyes. But when he said her eyes looked like the fires of Hell, he expected her to accept it gratefully. But in the end, he received two black eyes as a "thank you".

First

She was frustrated that Shinji had mastered his inner Hollow before she had. And her frustration grew as her comrades followed him. Finally, she was all alone, desperately trying to hold on to herself. When she finished her battle and succeeded, their leader went up to her. "You okay, gaki?" She just bit her lip, tired from the battle in her inner world. "Just fine!" He knelt to her side and put two fingers in front of his lips, making the "hush" gesture. "Yer lucky, Hiyori…" Huh?" "The ones that conquer their inner Hollows first… Are usually the ones that are the first to die, too…""Huh?" Being last never felt so self-assuring.

God

Barely conscious, Hiyori felt a surge of reiatsu go through the battlefield. Retsu told her to ignore the fight above them; she needed to focus on her own reiatsu. She strained her eyes to see and found that Shinji was confronting Aizen all on his own. Though it was for a split second, before going out again, she saw Shinji activate his bankai. And in Aizen's envy, he looked like a God.

Hilt

In the Soul Society, Hiyori asked Shinji whether or not he remembered receiving Konso. "I went into the Rukongai, didn't I?" "Yeah, but do you remember if you were a Hollow or a Whole or something?" "Sigh… Hiyori, after getting hit in the head so many times, you forget the hilt that takes your soul…" He thought she would take that as an "I don't remember", but she didn't. He got knocked in the head by her zanpaku-to's hilt. "Aaaaaugh! Hiyori!"

Itch

When Shinji said he had "an itch he couldn't scratch", Hiyori helped him out. Lifting the shirt off his back, Shinji thought this would be the start of a "beautiful friendship"… But when he said that, Hiyori unsheathed her zanpaku-to and used it to scratch his back. He was in so much pain, he didn't hear Hiyori mutter, "Friendship my butt…"

Jam

Ichigo and Hiyori were really getting into his training. That's what all the Vizards thought, excluding a youth-oriented former Taicho. So, to congratulate the deathberry on a week of training, Shinji served them all a special feast. As Ichigo went to thank him for the food, he caught him spreading jam over TONS of toast. "Hey, Hirako! I'd to thank you for-!" The man turned around, a knife through the pile of toast. "Yesssssssss…?" "…" "You like it? It's Strawberry Jam… Ichigo…" "…" Shinji's message came through; Ichigo stayed as a student to Hiyori and Shinji took care of his only competition.

Kirio

She was graceful, beautiful, intelligent, and powerful. Above all else, however, she was needed. Not just the whole of the Soul Society, but to Hiyori Sarugaki. The woman was a mother-figure to her, and when Kirio was called up to serve the Royal Family, she had to leave her to s person she trusted the most. "I don't know…" "Please, Hirako. Take care of Hiyori for me." "That gaki?! Kirio, do you know what she does with people like me?!" "I know. She has a temper, but I want you to look after her for me…" Ever since, Shinji has looked after Hiyori, according to the wish of Soul Reaper Kirio.

Light

His attempt to kill the God-complex Soul Reaper known as Aizen had failed. He fell through the air as he watched his former Fuku-taicho challenge Ichigo, while his own senses dulled from his battle. He never hit the ground, for Hiyori caught him in the nick of time. "Hiyori…" "Sheesh… You're so light, Shinji…"

Mother

While Hiyori knew what the love of a mother was like, Shinji knew what the discipline of one was. So when the time came for the explosive Vizard to embrace motherhood, she was thankful Shinji was there by her side to help her be the mother she wanted to be.

Nap

Kirio held the ferocious girl back, but she was too late. Hiyori had already kicked the Taicho to the wall, creating a small chasm into the earth. "Hiyori…" "What?! The idiot deserved it!! I am NOT cranky!" To their surprise, Shinji got up from her rage-fueled attack. "Awwww… Looks like somebody hasn't had their nappy…" And then the man took a nap induced by a kick to the head.

Octopus

"Gaki, yer gonna have to eat." "Hmph! Forget it; I'm not gonna eat anything you give me, idiot!" "Oi… Kirio's at a special meeting right now; she's gonna have my head and hair if you don't eat SOMETHING." "Heh! Good; I've always wanted to see you bald!" She sat across from him at the table, arms folded. "Sigh… EAT." He stuck an octopus fritter into her mouth, her facial expression surprised. "…" "There. At least now you won't starve until Kirio gets back…" Since then, Hiyori's always enjoyed an octopus dish.

Prisoner

In Hiyori's opinion, they were all prisoners. The warehouse was a prison, their inner Hollows their personal wardens… Or equally insane inmate. But when the abusing Vizard was with the leader of their imprisoned group, she felt like she was no longer a prisoner to the crime she and the others had not committed. Shinji, too, was a prisoner, but he had Hiyori as cellmate.

Quarrel

Ichigo always thought that Hiyori hated the guts of the pharaoh-masked Vizard. But the other Vizards saw through their act, quarrel after quarrel, and made it into an act of love. Love disguised through hate; that was the subject of today's quarrel.

Reality

At the time of that fateful night, Shinji thought seeing all of his comrades have white masks over their faces was just an illusion set by Aizen as a joke. But when he heard Hiyori scream from within her fight against her inner Hollow, he was brought back to reality without a second thought.

Snake

"!!" Her name could be heard through the entire warehouse, alerting every Vizard. Hiyori was on the roof, laughing like no tomorrow. She had no problem rigging a bucket of snakes to his light switch, triggering a "good morning" from herself to Shinji. "I……Hate……Snakes…..!!" Her laughter climbed volume as he made his declaration.

Travel

"I love lookin' at these books; so many places ta go, ya know?" Hiyori just grunted and rolled her eyes; Kirio had come back from the transient with gifts for her. Unfortunately, books weren't her favorite things. But whenever Shinji came over to watch her during Kirio's busy schedule, he always looked at the books she had around. "One day, I think I'll travel to one of these places, Hiyori." "Huh? Where?" "Maybe Egypt! Their death masks look so cool!" "Oi…"

United

"United we stand, divided we fall." Hiyori just looked at him in confusion. "What the hell was that?" "Nothin'; just reading from this book you threw at me." "… I think I'll ask Kirio-sama to stop getting books for me in the transient world."

Vassal

"You're my vassal now, teme!" Hiyori couldn't help but laugh as Shinji's arms remained shackled to her wall. "Damn it, Hiyori; you let me go this instant!" "No way, idiot! I think I like you better this way!" Shinji gritted his teeth; all their fellow Vizards would probably get the wrong idea from this scenario. "Urrrrrgh… I'd rather be a vassal to Orihime-chan than to you-! Aaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuugh!!" "Shut up, vassal."

Wish

"… I wish for a new pair of sandals-!" Shinji just stared out onto the stars as all the Vizards sat on the roof to stargaze. But his gaze was soon averted by a sandal to the face. "OW!" "Damn it, Shinji! That was MY wish! How about I wish for a couple of dress shirts, huh?! How'd you feel if I dressed like Lupin III, huh?! That slap was for stealing my wish, wish-stealer!" She was so steamed; she didn't hear his last few words. "… So I can give them to Hiyori…"

Xing

Hit-and-run. That was what happened as Shinji walked through the many streets of the Seireitei. In retrospect, he should've looked both ways before xing over to the other side. Hiyori had ran over him, but in her opinion, he was just a part of the road… If not an ant xing over to the other side.

Yen

"Sheesh… How much longer is this inflation gonna last?" Shinji carried some groceries while Hiyori walked by his side. "Let it go, Shinji. It was like this the last hundred years and I doubt it's gonna change now…" He smirked and tossed her a 10 yen coin. "Huh? Weren't you just complaining about money, idiot?" "Yeah, but you're so cute when you make a point…" "I think I'll buy a pair of cheapo sandals so I can whack the nearest merchant so we can get free stuff." "… Gimme back that yen coin."

Zeal

In a warm bed, Hiyori felt safe within Shinji's domain. If it weren't for Kirio's motherly love before they became Vizards, she would have given her full devotion and attention to their leader. "Hiyori…" Hearing his voice made her smile with excitement; she had waited a long time for this. "Are you ready, my virgin bride?" She couldn't contain herself any longer; her zeal exploded as both masked lovers reclined on the bed, side by side. They couldn't be happier.

The End

Okay, not the best drabble ever. What do you think? Keep in mind, this is one of our first stories. Please review, bulk or small. Thanks for reading!


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